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Photo Courtesy of Joe Conroy Photography Portlaoise at the wedding of the lovely James and Christine
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I am lucky enough to have been present for Hundreds of wedding speeches, using this experience I hope I can provide some clarity around good speech content as well as the logistics of the wedding speeches! Some of the most common questions I get regarding the speeches are: "Who goes first?" The traditional order of speakers is as below: The Best man typically acts as MC throughout the speeches introducing each speaker Father of the Bride / Speaker from the Bride's Family Father of the Groom / Speaker from the Groom's Family Groom And the Big Finale – Best man "When should we do our speeches?" Before Dinner - Doing the speeches before dinner allows the more nervous speakers to “get it over and done with” meaning they can relax and enjoy their dinner. As soon as we introduce the Bride and Groom into the ballroom and seat them at the top table, we normally hand the mic straight over to the Best man to get the show started! The timing of these speeches needs to be quite precise. If you are considering having the traditional 4 speeches and you are allowing 10 minutes per speech that is an additional 40 minutes before dinner service begins. I'm hungry just thinking about it. Of course, some speeches will run under 10 minutes. However speaking from experience the majority run over. After Dinner - Having the Speeches following dinner is the traditional route. All guests are full and content and ready for some nostalgia and sentimentality before the dancing begins. From a dinner service perspective this can be the easier route. Once we introduce Bride and Groom into the Ballroom it is straight into serving the first course ensuring a smooth service. The main downside to this is if you have a very nervous or anxious speaker it does mean prolonging their nerves through the dinner service. During service - Definitely seen least often, as it can be difficult from a food service perspective. Anyone who has ever cooked a Sunday roast knows when the roast beef is ready it's ready. If it is kept warm , as opposed to being served once ready, you run the risk of it drying out. This applies to many popular wedding menu choices including salmon. Obviously, Chefs are professionals and can of course avoid this better than any of us Joe Soap’s cooking a Sunday roast. However, should a speech run for 30 minutes rather than the promised 10 minutes there is only so much can be done. I would personally avoid this option altogether. "Have you got any advice on the Do's and Don'ts of a wedding speech?" The Do’s Do practice out loud - Practice reading your speech aloud once you are happy you have finished writing it. This will help you ensure it flows and makes sense. Then practice “Giving” your speech. This will highlight where you need to emphasise, where you need to pause and where you can take a deep breath to relax. Finally practice with whoever will listen! The more times you perform your speech, the more comfortable you will be on the day and less reliant on your flashcards/script. If you are very nervous about speaking in public try reading your speech for one person initially and then when you're comfortable build up to two and three. In my previous blog, I talked about how to deal with nerves surrounding speech giving, as well as all other aspects of the wedding day. You should check it out! (plug...plug...plug!) Do consider using visual aids – Speeches are made all the more fun/interactive when photos or props are included! Personally, I wouldn’t use projectors or screens but instead get said Photos printed on A3 / A2 cards and ask a groomsman to hold up said card at designated times during the speech. Wedding speeches are nerve wracking enough without worrying about working with equipment unless of course you are well used to working with projectors and slideshows etc. Even still I would consider props over technical equipment. Should something go wrong it is much easier to poke a groomsman to hold up the right picture than it is to find a replacement HDMI, mid speech. Do be yourself - Giving a speech can be completely nerve wracking and people sometimes feel that if they portray a character/persona it will be easier. It won't. Just be your genuine self. People understand how intimidating it can be standing up in front of a crowd and will be on your side when you stand up to give your speech. Take advantage of this empathy and allow it to give you some comfort. Do smile! - Don’t be afraid to laugh at your own jokes or give a little smile. It is super endearing for an audience to see. When you smile the whole room smiles with you. This is 100% true and who doesn’t want to see a room full of happy people when giving a speech! Do get a little sentimental - Open up about how you feel about what the groom means to you, let everyone know what he, his friendship and his happiness with his new life partner means to you. It’s a day for love and lord knows the world needs more brotherly love! 
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Here are a few helpful tips to help cope through from the initial planning process right through to your first dance! The planning process surrounding your day As a wedding coordinator I have had the pleasure of looking after many different people and personalities in the lead up to the big day. In my experience the main reason for people worrying in the lead up to their day is that, for the majority of them, this is their first wedding. They have never had to organise a wedding before! At most they have been involved in perhaps a sibling’s planning process or as part of a friends Bridal Party. However, the feelings do change when it is your own wedding, your own table/seating plan and of course your own Budget! I would always tell my Brides and Grooms if they needed anything wedding related to just ask, be it just someone to bounce ideas off of or if something you are unsure of is playing on your mind. This is where you should really take advantage of having a dedicated wedding coordinator/planner/consultant! You may not have been through this process before but your wedding coordinator lives this process day in and day out, use their experience. One lovely couple in particular comes to mind, in relation to wedding planning nerves. The groom was an admittedly anxious person, he said he was aware he might find the planning process stressful. He had already envisioned the many nights of lying awake worrying about “should they or shouldn’t they’s” surrounding their wedding. The main stress being that they had no idea what to expect or what was involved in the wedding process. We sat down over coffee and went through the main milestones in the planning process from Bedroom allocations, to invites and RSVP’s, menu tastings, final numbers and table plan deadlines to name but a few. I told them not to dare lie awake at night wondering and worrying about something and instead to send me an email, not matter what the time, asking the question and take some comfort in knowing there was a response for that worry on its way to them. There does come certain point a few weeks before where all the planning is done, no more can be done and you can relax a little more. The time for changes and adding extra bits on is all done and dusted and it's time to enjoy the excitement of what's to come in addition to the Hens and Stag do’s of course. The wedding day jitters Once the big day arrives it is completely normal to have a few nervous butterflies in your tummy that morning. However once the bridesmaids /groomsmen join you to start getting ready your mind is so focused on what is happening around you rather than on the walking down the aisle portion of the day. I loved when we had a civil ceremony within the hotel, the Bride normally stayed the night before and got ready in one of our larger family rooms with plenty of room for hair and makeup. I would pop up to them about 11.30am to check in and see how their morning was going/ how they were feeling. It allowed me to offer that extra bit of support the morning of the wedding. Everything from making sure she is feeling ok to making sure she has enough prosecco/snacks on standby. (which in my opinion mean the same thing) The most important thing is to know the order of your day inside out! Have a schedule in your head but try not to focus on the clock to much. If things don’t happen to the second as planned, which is normal, this can create unnecessary stress. Speak to your suppliers in advance to ensure they know how important punctuality on the day will be for you. Perhaps designate one person in your wedding party to make sure things are happening reasonably on schedule. One last tip would be, if you are having a wedding car do ask them to arrive 30 minutes before you are due to leave for your ceremony. This will allow you to relax once you see the car outside awaiting you. Also, a great opportunity to grab some photos with the car!  |
